I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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