did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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