so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
