Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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