Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
