There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
