Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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