She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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