No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Enjoy the penises
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
