this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
