Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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