I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
