clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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