Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
