awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
