We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
