Got a toothbrush?
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
