He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We are two peas in an std pod
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
