I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Are my feet made of real feet?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
