i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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