Dude my mom stole all your condoms
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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