i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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