i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
