your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My vagina is very pro this idea
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
