best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She even gives head with a lisp.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
