She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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