I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Are we still banned from the library?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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