Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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