Porn is love you can see.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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