I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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