that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
