so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
