she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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