I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
