how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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