I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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