he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
