Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
