I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
