these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
