Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
