she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
MIDGETS
????
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
