uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
