that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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