I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
There's even glitter on my cock...
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