Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
