So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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