so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
