I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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