I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
