my room smells like sperm. sweet.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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