high people should be assigned attendants
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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