So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She told me I should be a condom model.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
