He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My penis needs a shock collar
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
