OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Randomize
