i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
