When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
