I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Randomize
