I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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