I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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