I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
