By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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