she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
