Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i love accidental penises.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
