Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
