I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
