The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize